Thursday, September 5, 2013

My First Placement- Big Girl

When I found out I was getting a 2 year old,  I put away the infant toys and went to Target to buy some toddler toys.

From what the placement worker told me, it sounded like BG was not going to be adoptable, but how it works in our County is you just never know.  There are no children who go straight to adoption, unless they are an abandoned baby, and that hardly ever happens.  Even then the parents have 72 hrs to re-claim their child, so you have to be a foster home to keep the baby for those 72 hrs.  How it usually works is you get a baby placed with you and the County does everything they can to reunify the baby with their birth parents.  The birth parents are going to some kind of classes to get their baby back and if they stop going to classes they are given many opportunities to start up again.  Reunification is the County's goal.  They do not want to adopt out the baby.  If the parents never get their act together, the baby's grandparents or family friend is then given a chance to adopt.  If all of those people decline, then the foster home is allowed to adopt, but the grandparents, other family member or family friend can step up at pretty much any time in the proceedings and take the baby.  So while the County sucks you into foster care telling you it is a great way to adopt, it is my opinion that they are taking advantage of your hope to adopt to get more foster homes and they are doing all they can to not let you adopt.  I realize that over simplifies things and makes the County sound like the bad guys, but from what I have seen so far that is the way it is.

So, back to BG.  When I asked the placement worker if she was possibly adoptable (as I said, they never know but can tell you more stuff such as "There is no dad or grandmother, only mom, so it depends on how she does" you'd know you'd have a better chance) the worker scolded me saying their goal is reunification and if I'm only going to take adoptable children I'd never get a placement.  I would love to quit my job and be a full time foster mom and take in as many kids as I could.  But that isn't going to happen and since I have to pay for child care, I would rather pay for childcare for a child I will eventually get to adopt.  I realize it is selfish, but I want to adopt and I don't want to spend time providing for and paying for child care for someone else's child who will go back to then in a few months.  But again, I didn't want to turn down my first placement so I said yes and took her.

Not only is BG called that because she was two years old, (they actually told me she was one year old- liars!) but she was very big for a two year old.  Very heavy to carry around at dog shows, but she'd get fussy in the stroller and I let her out she'd try to run off and when I'd stop her she'd have a fit.  Ah, the lovely twos.
She had a thing for books.  I eventually moved all the books she could reach into my bedroom.

BG did not talk yet but since I'd never had any children, I didn't realize that was unusual until people commented on it.  She was super cute and the dogs liked her a lot more than I thought they would.  Of course Pie was fine and Dottie thought she was a playmate, but it was Fancy who surprised me.  Fancy would actually go up to her for pets.  Who is that dog and where is my Fancy?  They all loved lunch time due to all the food that ended up on the ground.

I made the dogs go lay down after taking this picture.

I had a few pretty typical toddler type problems with her.  Have a two year old live with you who doesn't communicate and who you don't know isn't easy!  But when she wasn't fussing she was a happy girl.

Two troublemakers looking for trouble.
Pie supervises.

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